


Save Me From Myself

by khudgens91



Series: Winding Roads [2]
Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Detox, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, F/F, Forced Prostitution, Underage Drug Use, Underage Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 14:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khudgens91/pseuds/khudgens91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helen may have saved Madi from Martelli, but can she save the girl from herself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Me From Myself

It had been a week since Madi had moved into the Sanctuary. Well, a week since she’d moved into her own room that is. Helen had made her stay in the infirmary for five days prior to that. Of course, she’d been unconscious for three of those days, so she hadn’t really started counting until she’d taken up residence in her current suite. The room, plus en suite bathroom, where bigger than the tiny little efficiency apartment she’d called home for the last four years. Not to mention the size of the Sanctuary itself. She was still getting used to it all.

Her and Helen were “taking it slow”, which she supposed was wise considering they had about eight months to stretch things out before Helen would let them get to the good stuff. So far it had all been tender caresses and light kisses. It was very weird for Madi. She was used to jumping straight to sex; usually sex that involved her doing all the work and definitely no cuddling. She’d never done anything remotely resembling dating. Helen seemed to think it was the proper course of action though so she’d decided to go along with it. But she wasn’t sure how she was going to make it eight whole months without jumping Magnus’s bones. The woman was sex personified. Madi still didn’t understand what Helen saw in her that would make her worth this great woman’s time, but she wasn’t going to complain as long as she had it.

“Madilynn?” Helen’s voice called from the doorway of her room. “May I come in?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Madi was sprawled out across the big king sized bed. She was wearing a pair of worn pajama bottoms and a tank top, both borrowed from Kate. She hadn’t had a chance to get any of her belongings from her old apartment so she was making do with Kate’s. They were too big on her boney frame, but it was better than nothing. Helen’s had been entirely too big. She had much longer legs than Madi and bigger breasts to accommodate for. Both qualities Madi appreciated immensely. Like tonight, for instance, Helen was wearing a grey dress that hugged her curves and was cut low enough to give a tantalizing flash of cleavage. The dress was short too and it, coupled with the stunning strappy heels she was sporting, provided miles and miles of creamy flesh for Madi to feast on. She let her eyes trail up the beautiful body, by the time she reached Helen’s face the older woman was smirking at her.

“How are you settling in?” Helen asked, coming to sit on the end of the bed.

“Fine.”

“I know we were going to go clean out your apartment tomorrow, but something’s come up and I have to go out of town. Is it ok if Kate goes with you instead?”

“Yeah, sure, that’s cool.”

Relief flooded through Madi. She hadn’t really wanted Helen to see her old apartment anyways, so it wasn’t a disappointment at all that she couldn’t come. She didn’t particularly like the idea of Kate tagging along either, but she was at least better than Magnus. Kate knew what it was like out there, she was less likely to judge than any of the rest of them.

“Will you be ok while I’m gone?” Helen asked.

“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself,” she reassured her.

“I know you can. I didn’t mean it like that,” Helen said, frowning.

“I know.”

They were quiet for a while before Madi crawled down the bed be closer to Helen.

“Where are you going?”

“New York. I have a sanctuary out there and I need to go check on some things.”

“I’ve never been to New York. I’ve always wanted to go,” Madi told her quietly.

She’d never been anyway. There were so many places she wanted to see.

“I’ll take you sometime,” Helen offered.

“Really?”

“Of course. You’ll love it.”

Madi beamed at her.

“How long will you be gone?” She asked, taking Helen’s hand.

“Only a few days.”

“I’ll miss you.”

That brought a smile to Helen’s face.

“I’ll miss you too, darling,” Helen told her, kissing her chastely.

Madi tried to follow her lips as she pulled away, but Helen only chuckled, not allowing her to continue the kiss. Madi rolled her eyes and huffed, which only made Helen laugh more.

“I don’t like this going slow stuff,” she grumbled.

“Patience, Madilynn. All in good time.”

She let out another heavy sigh.

“When do you leave?”

“Early. You’ll still be asleep.”

Madi doubted that. She hadn’t been sleeping much. All part of the withdrawals. The first few days, which were always the hardest, had passed while she was still unconscious. For that she was grateful. But she’d still felt some of the lingering effects. Restlessness and inability to sleep being the most prominent.

“Will you come tell me bye?”

“I wouldn’t want to wake you. We can just say our good byes tonight. Besides, I’ll only be gone a few days. You’ll probably barely notice I’m gone.”

Madi snorted. Of course she’d notice.

“Please,” she begged.

“Oh very well. I’ll sneak in before I leave.”

“Thanks,” Madi told her, smiling brightly and leaning in for another light kiss.

As she’d predicted, Madi wasn’t asleep when Helen came tip toeing into her room later that night, or early the next morning, however you wanted to look at it. The light from the moon was to Helen’s back so Madi couldn’t see her face as she leaned down to press a tender kiss to her cheek. She stayed as still as possible, trying to pretend she was asleep. Magnus would just worry if she knew about her sleep problems. So she let her believe that everything was fine. Helen stroked her hair, fingers combing through the short strands. One last kiss on the cheek and she was gone.

As soon as the door closed once again, Madi rolled onto her back and sighed. She was restless. She felt like she needed to get up and move around. She’d already spent most of the night pacing the room. She wanted…she wanted to run. Unfortunately she didn’t have a pair of tennis shoes. Too restless to stay in bed, she climbed out from under the covers and went to wonder the halls. It was at least better than lying awake in her bed.

**********************************************************

“Dude, the Doc is going to be so jealous of these,” Kate said, dangling a pair of pumps in front of Madi’s face. “The only thing keeping them safe is you two don’t wear the same size.”

Madi laughed, knowing what Kate had said was true. Helen had a major shoe fetish, that much was obvious. Madi didn’t doubt that her closet probably looked like a shoe store. Helen took fuck-me-pumps to a whole new level. Her mind wondered to imagining Helen in nothing but one of her gorgeous pairs of shoes and she felt a shiver run up her spine. Eight month. Eight damn months. She was so distracted by her own thoughts that Madi almost missed what Kate was saying to her.

“What do you want to do with your furniture,” the Indian woman was asking her, eyeing the small bed and beaten up dresser.

“Umm…you can just leave them I guess. The apartment manager will clear them out. I don’t care. I’m not attached to anything.”

Kate shrugged, going back to packing up Madi’s meager closet.

“So how’d you afford this place anyway?” Kate asked, curious.

Madi sighed, not comfortable with the turn the conversation was taking. She chewed on her bottom lip, contemplating how best to answer.

“Martelli had a deal with the owner of the complex. Martelli took a certain percentage of what I earned on the street and paid towards the apartment every month. The rest I…worked out with the owner.”

“Oh.” Was Kate’s only response.

“I’m gonna go start on the bathroom,” she told Kate.

Grabbing a box, Madi made her way into the small bathroom. It was barely big enough for a shower, toilet, and small sink. It was perfect for hot boxing, something she’d done on multiple occasions. When you did what she did on a daily basis, you needed an escape when you came home. Pulling open the mirror above the sink, she stared at the contents of the hidden medical cabinet. Besides the usual culprits of toothpaste, makeup, and over the counter drugs, she also had a plethora of less than legal concoctions; bottles of roxies, vicodin, zanny-bars, and green dragon, and baggies of weed and cocaine. Every time she’d gotten a new supply, she’d made sure to put a little aside, stashing it up in the case of an emergency. That being the case, she had a nice little stockpile collected.

Madi stood there staring at the assortment of drugs. Should she throw them out? Of course she should throw out. But she didn’t want to. She was chewing on her lip so hard she could taste blood. Maybe she’d take them just to help her sleep at night. She really did need to get more sleep. Making her mind up, she walked across the room to get her satchel, coming back in the bathroom and dumping the drugs in before returning it to its place by the door.

“How’s it going in here? Need some help?” Kate said as she was coming back into the bathroom.

“No, no I got it. Thanks though.”

If she picked up on Madi’s anxiety, she didn’t say anything. It didn’t take them long to pack up her entire apartment. Not that she had very many things that needed moving. She’d lived a very minimalistic life, not having the money to buy nice things. She’d always made do with second-hand junk. The only things she would spend money on were clothes. Appearances were important in her business.

Helen, on the other hand, had tons of money. It was intimidating to Madi. Yet another reason Helen was so out of her league. People with money never paid attention to someone like her…unless they wanted something from her. But Helen wasn’t like that.

The entire contents of her apartment, minus the furniture which they’d left for the landlord to deal with, didn’t even fill the van they had driven over in. It was a reminder to how pitiful her life had been up until now. She definitely wasn’t sad to see this chapter of her life coming to an end. The scary part was the unknown that lay ahead.

**********************************************************

Helen’s trip got extended a few more days, which meant she’d been gone almost a week by the time she finally boarded a plane for home. They’d talked every day on the phone, but it wasn’t the same as having her there. It was probably a good thing Helen hadn’t been around though because Madi had been hitting her stash of drugs pretty hard. She’d only intended to use them to help her sleep, to take the edge off, but it had quickly evolved. She’d actually used them all up already. She told herself it was because there hadn’t been all that much to begin with, but she knew it was a weak excuse.

She was sure that if Helen had been there she would have noticed immediately what Madi was up too. As it were, nobody had said anything to her about it. She was rather hoping that they weren’t any the wiser, but she kind of doubted it.

It was the first day she was coming off them and Helen was due back that night. By that evening she was feeling like shit and she wasn’t unconscious for the initial withdrawals this time around so she felt every torturous minute of it. She skipped dinner, knowing she wouldn’t be able to keep it down. As it was, she was already having stomach cramps. It was going to be a long night. She was hoping that Helen would wait to come see her until the morning so that she could at least try to make herself presentable.

For now, she slipped into a sports bra and shorts before crawling in bed. She was sweating already and the stomach cramps were getting worse. Curling in on herself, she settled in for a long night. That was how Helen found her hours later. It was late when she slipped into Madi’s room, probably just getting home.

“Dear god, Madi. What happened? What’s wrong?” Helen exclaimed when she was close enough to take in Madi’s state.

Madi was shivering, burrowed under the covers, but sweating profusely. The cramps were so bad she couldn’t move. She ached everywhere, like she had the flu.

“N-nothing. I’m fine. Go away,” she mumbled, tucking in on herself even more and trying to hide under the covers.

“You most certainly are not fine.” Helen said sternly.

“It’s nothing. Probably just the flu. I’ll be better tomorrow. Just go, you don’t want to get sick too,” she tried again.

But Helen wasn’t buying it. Madi’s body chose that moment to be sick; Helen noticed the signs in time to get a trash bin under her before she was throwing up over the side of the bed. Mortified, Madi rolled onto her other side, trying to avoid Helen’s probing gaze. She heard her set the trashcan down and walk into the bathroom, a few minutes later she came back and pulled gently on Madi’s shoulder until she turned over to face her. Helen wiped her face with a damp rag, her touch gentle and comforting.

“Madilynn?”

“Mmm?”

“How long since your last use?”

“What are you talking about?” she tried to play dumb, but she wasn’t fooling Helen.

“How long since you last used whatever drugs you were taking while I was gone?”

“Helen, I-“

“I’m not mad. I just want to know, so I can help you through this.”

Tears pricked at her eyes. Helen was amazing, so kind and so loving. Once again, Madi had to wonder what the older woman saw in her.

“Yesterday,” she mumbled, turning her head away.

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you so soon,” Helen whispered.

Was she really blaming herself for this? This was all Madi’s fault, not her’s. She was the one that hadn’t been able to throw away the stupid drugs; she was the one that had put them back into her system. How could Helen think for one second she was responsible for this?

“No, it’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself. It was me, all me.”

“Madi-“

“No. I…I saw all those pills and stuff and I just…I couldn’t help myself,” Madi said, bursting into tears.

“Madi-“

“I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want this. But I did it anyway. I don’t know why I did it. I just did. Oh god, Helen, why did I do it?”

Tears were streaking her cheeks and snot was running from her nose, she knew she must look pathetic.

“Madi!” Helen exclaimed. “Will you stop for a moment and listen to me?”

Madi sniffed, but kept silent.

“You’ve been dependent on drugs for years now. Setbacks, where unfortunate, are understandable. I should have realized that you’d have some left over at your apartment, that it would be a trigger for you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. But we are going to get you through this…together. Do you understand?”

Madi nodded, wiping the snot from her nose with a shaky hand. Sitting down on the bed, Helen stroked her hair gently before bending down to kiss her forehead.

“I’m going to go change into something more comfortable, but I’ll be back in a bit, darling, ok?”

“Ok,” Madi squeaked.

While Helen was gone, she took the opportunity to go to the bathroom. Her stomach cramps were slightly better after that, but she still felt terrible. While in there she took the time to clean her face, ridding it of any residual snot or tears. She was just climbing back into bed when Helen returned. She was wearing a pink nightie with a matching robe, which hung open to reveal her glorious curves. Madi groaned at the sight and Helen frowned, coming to her side immediately.

“What is it, Madi? Do you need me to get you something?”

“No, I’m fine. It’s just…”

“What?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you look sexy in that nightie,” Madi confessed quietly.

Helen laughed good-naturedly.

“That wasn’t my intention, I promise,” she said, closing the robe and tying it around her waist.

“That’s just it though. You don’t even have to try to look hot. You just are. All the time. It’s so unfair.”

“Come on, let’s get some sleep,” Helen told her, changing the subject.

Walking around to the other side of the bed, she climbed in under the covers and scooted closer to Madi. Lying on her side, Helen put her elbow on the bed and rested her head in her hand, looking over at Madi fondly. Her free hand tucked a stray hair behind Madi’s ear. It was a gesture she did often and something that Madi loved. Helen’s fingers traced over her face feather soft, caressing Madi’s clammy skin.

“This isn’t exactly what I pictured when imagining you in my bed for the first time,” Madi told her. “It involved alot less clothing and I wasn’t dope sick.”

“There will be plenty of time for that later.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Eight months and all that,” Madi replied, rolling her eyes.

Helen chuckled, a single finger tracing Madi’s pouting lips.

“Try to get some sleep, darling,” Helen told her. “I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

“Ok.”

Madi couldn’t remember there ever being a time that she shared a bed with someone without having sex with them. It felt weird. Would Helen try to cuddle with her? She’d never spent much time cuddling, what if she did it wrong? What if she wasn’t a good cuddler? All these thoughts raced through her mind as Helen settled into the bed beside her. Whether Helen sensed her discomfort or was just continuing with the ‘taking things slow’ approach, she didn’t try to encroach on Madi’s personal space. For once Madi was immensely grateful for the ‘slow’ track. She’d need to work up to the cuddling stuff.

For now, she settled for reaching across the bed to hold Helen’s hand, twining their fingers together. Helen squeezed her hand and Madi relaxed slightly. She was just drifting off when she felt Helen shift on the bed, soft lips were pressed to her cheek, and then Helen went back to her previous position, their hands still joined.  



End file.
